The Morning of Drunk Clarity and More Drunk

I have been thinking that I need to put this evaluation in words that have been posted. So here are my thoughts I am now currently nearly 2l of diet coke (because I think it tastes better) and about 450ml of Smirnoff Vodka (because I wanted to get drunk and I also prefer the taste). "And at writing I have walked downstairs to go to the loo. I had a small bit of clarity on 2 subjects while I have been drunk. These are Financial and Will. To explain the first would be to long so I'll sum it up.

• Financia: I have been bad with money, borrowed some, bad again, borrowed more. Now can Keep up with repayments only because gf works full time and cheaper rent. The reason I have been so bad is that I havn't confronted this problem [head on]... ever.
  

Off toilet and back to computer from notepad."

• To deal with this I will need to fully confront these issues and seek help. This may mean coming clean to my dad or finding an alternative route to take. The reason I bring up my dad is because I share the vast majority of my life with him and I have great respect for him. I think I don't want to come clean because it will dull my armor even more, which I do not want to do. I still need to do something though so I need to Talk this through thoroughly.

Next up is will:

• So this is a bit more convoluted that what was previous. My personal will sucks. I have relied on other people to help me try and push me to become better. This is completely wrong to do. For example smoking, I started smoking again because I love doing it. I love the heat of it, the wrongness for doing it and the hit afterwards. So now I am really wanting one again and there is none left in the house so what do I do... I become irritable and, well, a lot of things. Which does not help with my awesome relationship. I know she loves me and she knows whats going on. I do not want her to 'have to put with me' because she deserves more happiness for making me so happy. So to also fix this, I am already trying my writing/talking about it. What I want to do is take each problem and work out why I don't want to do it and make it so I don't have an excuse.

So talk over, I hope that gives a better understanding of me while I am drunk the next part is my opinions of the night after. :D 03:29am 05-11[nov]-11

• So I am really enjoying house the new season 8, the Chinese girl is sooooo cute :D I just want to hug her. My work vs. watch is so bad I don't want to give the results. Looking up Armake21 because he made a video about how he moved unto a water vapour cig that gives you the hit of a cig but none of the tar so googled:
• armake21
• armake21 video smoking
• Ecig 510 armake 21

Still no result... But did find:

• http://www.ustream.tv/user/Armake21
• http://ebeeto.wikia.com/wiki/List_of_videos_by_Armake21
• http://www.facebook.com/pages/Armake21/112864755448487
• http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YR6fbJH_Gt4

Ahhh had to stop watching http://www.gametrailers.com/user-movie/games-that-suck-ghostbusters-nes/180111 was digressing from my mission and also digressing in the sense that I wanted to smoke because that's what I used to do 'back in the day' while watching these videos. Just watched the video response to Armake21 this was link 4 on the found results. He has convinced me to get one of these. I may regret this[at a later time and not due to a hangover] but I have now grabbed the other diet coke and the jagermeifter. So watched all the way through and now looking at companies and the forum he talks about to see about getting some. Jag - first swig from ice cold bottle and it tastes very good and warms the belly, its odd that :D. Goint to log into Steam and see if I can talk to my buddy Jin. Just wrote the title for this and I cant Believe that I spelled "Clarity" correctly :P. Time for a second swig.. but first some precaution a bag and a splash zone in case the worst happens. OK doritos box from moving and a heatons plastic bag plus tissue from my previous cold. I feel prepared (which reminds me about archer :D) ok drink... ok that was fine. Well Jin is not online but I sent him a message.

Ohhhh just watched a trailer to Payday The Heist and I am really interested... Archer Season 2 Episode 9 because I can.. :D OK that is enough of the stream of conscious. I'll try to update soon :D